Vera Vogue on Parade

I discovered a blog last night and wasted much of the evening almost peeing my pants reading it. Vera Vogue on Parade has some of the most hilarious posts I have ever read.

For example:

My OBGYN: (in a thick Russian? accent, extremely disgusted) You are the whitest person I have ever seen! In all my years of being a doctor, I've never seen a person as white as you! Have you ever been in the sun? Do you ever expose yourself to the sun? You so whiiiiiiite!

Me: Well, I go in the sun, I just wear sunscreen.

My OBGYN: (unimpressed) Hmmmmmmmmmph. (Beat)You so whiiiiiiiiite!

Ladies and gentlemen, I seek medical treatment from a person who doesn't believe in sunscreen.My life is awesome.

or

My Sister, The Genius
"You know that article about those spinach artichoke Lean Pockets that got recalled?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to eat one right now."

"What?! There's plastic in them!"

"Not in all of them. I read that article and thought, 'Wow. Those look good.'"

and, of course, this little gem: